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May 27, 2012
May 25, 2012
Learning is good.
Please click the bar below to listen.
The audio from my recording tends to be too loud. But you can always lower it from your computer.
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May 23, 2012
Testing, testing, can you hear me?
Hello!
That little bar up there is me talking to you. It is a little test to see if it works. I got a little microphone a couple of weeks ago because I love the idea of talking to you directly. If everything works well, then I will be able to communicate with you through my voice. Please let me know what you think? Do you understand me OK?
Elsita :)
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Happy 10th Anniversary!
Bill and I are celebrating our 10th anniversary today. These have been the 10 most important years of my life. Bill and I agree that we have a pretty good marriage. We feel so lucky. I decided to list the 10 main elements that make of our marriage a good one.
1. We respect each other.
2. We're very patient with each other.
3. We accept each other exactly as we are.
4. We want the same things in life: a happy family and space for creativity.
5. We keep it real. No drama, no complications.
6. Our parenting phylosophy is the same, no disagreements or conflicts in that area.
7. We admire each other.
8. We share a good sense of humor and practice it all the time.
9. We learn from each other.
10. We support each other emotionally.
These 10 years have been amazing. I personally feel that I have grown so much with Bill. He's 12 years older than me so that makes him 12 times wiser than I am. He has seen a lot more than me so when I'm trying to figure out something he has already graduated from it.
What I enjoy most about Bill is his down to Earth approach to life. He has worked with lots of rich and famous people in this and other countries, he has seen the kind of poverty that hurts your eyes. But no matter where he is or who he's interacting with, Bill is first of all human, he's always real, gentle, understanding and modest. That's why he's so good at his work (film producer). It takes a very unique person to deal with lots of different personalities, most of them intense, and yet, get things done and never lose perspective of what really matters.
Another thing that I really admire about Bill is his gift for listening. He can stand there, very quiet, and just listen for as long as you talk. Not only that, but he never rushes to impose his own opinion. He just says: everything will be OK. And he's always right, things are always OK in the end.
I could talk about Bill's qualities forever, but one more gift of the many that Bill possess is the way in which he deals with crisis. I have never seen a person who can stay as calm and as in control as Bill is whenever there is a crisis. The world can be falling apart and there he is, never raising his voice, never panicking, never rushing to conclusions. The best part is that he always comes out with the right solution to the problem. He's a genius at proposing ideas that are simple and efective. It all comes from a high concrete intelligence combined with deep intuition and lots of perspective. When I grow up I want to be like Billy.
I will finish this post by saying: Thanks a million Billy for everything, you are my rock, my inspiration, my teacher, and the love of my life. Thank you for helping me become a better person in these 10 years. Thank you for being such a wonderful father to Miro, Natalie and Diego and thank you for letting me just be the way I am, as tricky as that could be sometimes ;). I love you forever!
Elsi :)
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May 18, 2012
If you Believe in Magic, Magic will Happen!
I came running from Diego's school to share something wonderful with you. Something magic just happened! Here is the story:
I religiously spend about 25-30 minutes in Diego's school playground every single morning, from Monday to Friday. I have been doing this since Diego was in Kindergarten. By keeping this routine Diego is consistently exposed to an environment where he can get social clues about how children interact in a spontaneous dynamic. My hope has been that one day he will learn how to connect with other children on his own, without the participation of adults. I believe that adult help is key for Autistic children (which Diego has all the time) but I also believe that it's a positive thing to give Diego the freedom to figure things out on his own, from experience.
Diego is able to engage in play with children from his class and from his social skills group. But when he's in a situation where he doesn't know the children, then he never initiates a play and he doesn't follow kids that want to interact with him neither. That's what I see every morning in the playground. Non of the children from his class go to the playground, for various reasons, so he's there on his own.
Every morning when we arrive in the playground he has the same routine. He walks in circles around the playground. Then he runs following the same path and then he goes up to a little bridge and jumps over and over again. He loves doing that. But he does all of this alone while all the rest of the children are engaged in their own games. There was a time when I actively tried to help him connect with other children but it didn't work so I decided to trust the fact that Diego is a good learned. I think that in order to learn you need some space so I did that.
Sometimes, just to get an idea of how Diego is feelings I ask: Sweetie, do you like the playground? Do you like the kids in the playground? Do you want to keep going there in the morning? His answer has always been YES. But if you see how disconnected he looks from the children in the playground you would imagine that he's not happy over there. The thing is that I had to learn how to see beyond my eyes.
Well, today is the day that I have been waiting for!! It was a normal day, he was doing the usual thing. I was talking with other mothers when suddenly Diego comes running to me. Two adorable smaller kids were having fun chasing him. Diego hugged me and with a mix of excitement and confusion, like expecting some kind of clarification he said: Mom! Those kids are chasing me!! I have been so ready for this moment that I immediately said: That is sooo cool!!! Go ahead and have fun chasing them now! Go! Go! They're waiting for you! So he did it. He started chasing the kids, they were laughing and having so much fun. Then they went to the slide and started playing together and taking turns. Then they run again...For a few minutes Diego was one more kid in the playground, having fun, sweating, smiling, his face was read. His body and mind were 100% activated.
I have visualized this scene in my mind so many times! And today it became real. This seems to be such a small thing but it was HUGE for me! It was a milestone. This is the first time that Diego engages in a play with other kids totally on his own, outside the group of children that he's familiar with. It's too bad that I didn't have a camera to take a picture. His face was so radiant! He was so happy!! I know that this is just the beginning of a long road.
Here is what I learned from this experience:
*Follow your instincts and always do what feels right.
*Have hope.
*Be extremely patient and consistent.
*Don't give up.
*Belive in magic and magic will happen.
*Visualize your dreams as if they were real.
*Be ready for what you want so you know what to do when it happens.
*Don't ever believe that idea that Autistic children prefer to be on their own. They do want to belong, they want to have friends, they want to be accepted and they want to have fun. They just don't know how to do it naturally. They don't "prefer" to be on their own, that's what they do because it's just easier or because they have been so affected by their unsuccessful attemps that they decided to give up trying. But very deep within, every Autistic child wants the same things that neurotypical children want.
Much love!
Elsita :)
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